Monday, March 7, 2011

On Playing With Laptops

Story #1:
When I was in middle school I went on a weekend trip to my family's mountain home. My cousin (who is about 12 years older than me) and his girlfriend came with us. My cousin's girlfriend had a laptop and for some reason I was fascinated with her laptop. I had never typed on one before and when she let me type on it I felt like a sophisticated professional writer. I kept asking if I could play with her laptop and I told her that I am good at typing because we have typing lessons in school. To humor my obsession with the laptop, she sat down on the couch with me and said that we can make up a story together and I can type it all. She held all the creativity so she dictated most of the story to me as I typed like her little secretary.

So there we sat, while I typed, and we made up a story about a turd frog. A TURD FROG! About 10 years after we wrote the story she printed it and sent it to me in the mail. I came across the story a few months ago and it was hilarious. Blogworthy. The story was about a turd frog who collected rodents. To carry the rodents he would swallow them whole and keep them in his throat. The story goes on about the turd frog and his unconventional way of carrying rodents and the story ends with the turd frog standing in a dark tunnel as a fast paced train was approaching him. The last line was something like "Isn't it ironic that the turd frog's life ended in a dark tunnel while three rodents were alive in the turd frog's own dark throat tunnel." A disgusting, disturbing, weird, yet perfectly typed story. And the laptop definitely made the story way more interesting.

Story #2:
My parents got a laptop while I was in middle school. For some reason I loved typing on it way more than typing on a regular keyboard. When no one was around I would go into our computer room and take the laptop and move it over to the coffee table (because a portable computer is SO COOL). I would place it on the coffee table and sit on the floor and "play secretary." I remember that I would try to type as hard as I could so I would look like the secretaries on TV. Since a middle schooler doesn't have much of an imagination (definitely not enough to make up a story about a turd frog) I would just practice typing names. I would start with my own. I would type my first, middle, and last name. Then my mom's, dad's, brother's. Then my grandparents' names. Then my aunts and uncles names. Then my cousins names and their pets names. Then my classmates names. Then my teachers names. Then I would run out of people I know names. So then I would get super creative and write all of the names of the members of N*Sync. Then the names of the members of the Backstreet Boys, Hansen, and 98 Degrees. Then I would type Britney Spears' name. Then Christina Aguillera's name. Then I would try to type something a little more detailed than names. I would type out the prayers I said before I went to bed. I would type out my address. I would type out the logos that were on the computer like "Dell" and "Intel." Then I would realize that I had 4 pages in Microsoft Word of people's names and other random excerpts, so I would delete the file and put the computer back. And that my friends, is how you play secretary on a laptop.

Highlight the text after the star to reveal which story is true * The true story is story number one. The truth is that I do have a three page story about a turd frog who kept rodents in his throat printed sitting in my drawer that was typed 14 years ago on a laptop. Creatively constructed by my cousin's girlfriend (now, wife) and me. Although writing names on a laptop sounds fun, I have always been a bit more creative than that!

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